Speak from the heart when writing a sympathy card to a close friend.
It is difficult enough to write a sympathy card for someone we know well. When it is someone we are not particularly close to, such as a coworker or a casual acquaintance, proper etiquette becomes even more important. We want our words to give comfort to the bereaved, so we try to take great care in composing a thoughtful message.
Don't Get Hung Up on Details
Even though it is important to be tactful when choosing sentiments for a sympathy card, try to relax and write from the heart. Whatever you decide to write, the card's recipient will appreciate that you have taken the time to express your condolences, and will likely find comfort in knowing you thought of them during their time of grief. A sympathy card signed simply "I'm sorry for your loss" is often good enough.
Share a Memory
If the person going through a loss is a close friend or family member, and you have a personal memory of the deceased, then you might share it in the card. For example, if your best friend from childhood just lost her father, and you have fond memories of going to baseball games with her family, then write about that. Or express something even simpler, like "I'll always remember your dad's great sense of humor."
Things To Avoid
If you are not sure whether or not the person receiving the card is religious, then avoid excessive references to God and religion. Also if the recipient was also the caregiver for the deceased, try to avoid saying things such as "I'm sure it is a relief." Finally, keep the focus on the recipient. Even if you recently lost someone close to you, it is not ideal to express how you know exactly how they feel.
Some Standard Sentiments
If you do not know the grieving person that well, or are simply stuck on what to write, anything that conveys that you are sorry for their loss, and that you are thinking about them, is appropriate. "My thoughts are with you during your time of grief," is fine, as is "Please accept my sympathies for your loss."
