Tuesday, March 11, 2014

Be More Talkative

Have you ever used the excuse "I'm an introvert" to avoid talking to people? Do you steer clear of parties or group gatherings because you fear that you don't have anything to say? Believe it or not, people often get the wrong impression about you if you do not engage in conversation. They mistakenly think that you're arrogant or too good for them, all because you simply can not think of anything to say. But it doesn't have to be that way. With a little effort, you'll have no problem striking up conversation with people at your next gathering.


Instructions


1. Be self-aware. Think about the "small talk" kinds of questions that people generally ask you when they're getting to know you, and come up with a good answer beforehand. An appropriate answer would include a general answer and a few details.


2. Read the news. Local and national happenings are always relevant, and you never know what interesting conversations you might be able to participate in simply because you're up to speed on the latest story. Current events also make an excellent conversation starter. "So, what do you think about [current event]..."


3. Ask open ended questions. "How do you know the host?" Or, "What do you enjoy the most about your job?" Steer clear of yes/no questions because if they don't entirely kill a conversation, they make it much more difficult to keep dialogue flowing.


4. Be interested in other people. Basic fact of life: people love talking about themselves. Ask questions about other people's lives, and really listen when they answer. You can ask follow up questions about their response so they do most of the talking. It still comes across that you're talkative because you're asking great questions. Win-win.


5. Be confident. Assume that when a person asks you a question, they really want to know the answer. Many people shy away from conversation because they assume that its just a formality. Most conversations start with small talk, but they can end up being great conversations if you are confident and take sincere interest in the other person.